Final fantasy XIII-2 reviews roundup

• RPGSite: "leaps of logic used throughout to justify what can only be described as poor plotting. The story literally performs lurching back flips to connect the dots, and things feel no clearer localized. If something isn't making sense, remember that a time paradox is probably responsible - as that's the only explanation you're going to get".
•  Eurogamer: "The characters remain mostly irritating or forgettable, full of fuzzy or weak motivations and stuffed with tortuous, posturing dialogue. It's a game written for sentimental teenagers, full of long ruminations of the nature of life and love and yet never quite managing to hit upon truths that might inspire you to engage with its themes. As the series has blossomed from 8-bit to 16-bit to HD visuals, the world has bloomed with it, but the dialogue has been embellished in less welcome ways - and that's never been more clear than it is here".
• Destructoid: "I don't want to give the story too much credit. It's certainly stronger than Final Fantasy XIII's story, but since it was built on its predecessor's uneven foundation, it never feels completely whole or in any way less nonsensical than before. The overarching storyline does its best to work with what there was to work with and continue on with something that's entertaining and sometimes surprising, but the smaller bits of story that center around unresolved time paradoxes rarely makes sense. I suppose some might say that these sections are intentionally strange, as they deal with a warping of time, but I feel like the time spent developing these segments could have been better spent on the background characters".
• GameSpot: "Where Final Fantasy XIII's party members had plenty of interpersonal conflicts to overcome, Serah and Noel get along nicely enough. Moments that could have had great poignancy in the first half of the game--multiple reunions among them--are curiously bereft of tension and emotional impact". 
• Joystiq: "the plot takes a turn for the nonsensical, veering into the land of Weird Proper Nouns and confusing use of terms like "artefact" and "spacetime" and "kinky robot slave" (I might have made up that last one). I lost interest around the tenth time something was explained as a "paradox." Perhaps this might all be easier to swallow if the game had competent dialogue or voice acting that didn't sound like a hammy 80s sitcom set to quadruple speed for maximum squeakiness. There's one particular character that I would love to erase from history: a bubbly shopkeeper named Chocolina who follows you across time in order to sell items at absurd prices and scream irritating things in your ear. It's tough to relate to the motivations and desires of characters whom you want to smack in the head".
• IGN: "you can safely say there's little story at all besides the singular motivation to find Lightning (and resolve paradoxes along the way). Even after witnessing the touching throes of its finale, Final Fantasy XIII-2 could have used more narrative punch. This lack of substance cuts deep into the end result. In fact, the ending of the game offers no resolution whatsoever. For a franchise known for telling incredible stories, this disappointing conclusion hurts worst of all".

 tl;dr: the story sucks moogle dicks